Oy Vey!!

Sitting on stage with 12 or so other women, tops red, bottoms black.

Fumbling with our cue cards, shooting nervous glances at each other, as we avert our eyes from the crowd.

Everyone gets seated and a hush comes over the crowd.

I'm having a moment thinking about how much garbage my house hold really produces.

It's almost to the point of being sickening.

I love garbage cans. In this mess, we produce about 4, 1/2 bags of garbage in a week. Diapers to paper towels to food. I think it's time for this family to become more aware of there actions and the impact its having on our planet and environment. We live in a throw away world, and I want out !

You can only change the things you have control over.. for me thats me.. and my kids, all 4 of them.

How to ...

Exercise: the right thing to do...

1, Close the blinds

2, convince your self to do it

3, Get a friend and convince her to join you because two will-powers are better than one

4, Find a place with mirrors, cool music, other women with their will-power helpers, and joy full soles

5, Measure and weigh in

~ It's going to be a bumpy ride ~

Spring = dog poo

Beautiful weather! the snow is almost gone... replaced with the wet, stinky reminder that I gave up on cleaning up dog poo last December .

I want life to be quiet for a while.

SHUT UP Life! I don't need you interrupting my beautiful day.

Turn off that day TV and lets play awhile

spring has sprung and you would think I would be happy about it right? wrong.. all this mud is making this OCD nurse NUTS! dirt dirt everywhere dirt!

It is important to not just take pictures, but to actually LOOK at them and actively remember.

I wonder how my grandma Betty is doing? I really need to call her .

I don't remember my grandfather now, how sad . I wish I remembered how he made me feel, sitting on his lap so comfortably.

I miss my mom

House work is never done

it just took me 25 minutes to get new batteries for my keyboard.

As I walk to the kitchen I pick up toys, notice dog hair and food on the floors .

Kitchen has a sink full of cold water and soaked dirty dishes, almost got them all done today, there's always tomorrow .

trip to the kettle, with a flick familiar from the dozen or so times today that I was going to make something.. but didn't. Tea time.

the remaining piles of dishes, stacked to distract from the food particles now nicely adhered .

another underwhelming dinner, down the hatch .

bedtime for me and baby is waking up, ain't that the way it goes sometimes.

Death and Life

The news of a childhood friend passing has hit home, hard.

I look at my 2 year old and new born and fall in love over and over again. My friend has left behind 2 girls who are old enough to have known him but young enough to still need daddy.

Choices we make everyday can lengthen or shorten our time with our loved ones.

So now what.. I guess I need to open my eyes. To not just walk through life numb and blurry but to SEE and Feel at every moment of every day.

Saver the warm hug of my little girl or my baby boy snuggling into mommy's neck.

Kiss and hug my man every chance I get, or just a soft caress when passing in the hallway.

Appreciate my friends for their individuality and supportive nature.

Change what I control but don't let the control change me.

Although I have not seen Eli for years, he is still forever in my heart as my Brother.